My six weeks starts today

Well, I've decided that the Six Week Body Makeover that I have owned for over a year will begin today. It was a mess trying to get it all together but I did and I started and experienced a successful day.

I took my measurements which were quite disappointing as well as weighed myself.

I'm putting it on the blog because I will not allow myself to experience a lack of health. I've experienced quite a bit of depression and up and down days with the hysterectomy. My muscles are killing me and I look like a stuffed bratwurst in my jeans that were VERY baggy a year ago.

I'm ready. I will give it six weeks and log on every day and share weekly how it's going. Here's the latest and grossest picture. UGH

Dawna

What has happened since last year

I look back at the post and wonder where the year went. Feb. 1st was my last post. That's a big mistake for me. I find when I'm writing then I seem to be more aware of my actions. Ignoring the post just enables me to try and ignore behavior. Not a good idea for me.

Many special and good things have happened this past year. I'm pursuing God in a way that is deep and meaningful. I really do understand that my weight cannot be the focus because it's like treating an outward symptom of an inward thought process that is wrong. I must have been treating the outward signs. That, for me, didn't work because much of the weight has returned. If it were weight only, then God would have listed the appropriate BMI in His word for each height and weight.

My friends are frustrated because they weigh 160 or 150. I would love to weigh that! How did we get to the place where we feel better about ourselves based on what size we are in? I'm just trying to sort this out. No offense intended. Women just never seem to be happy or content. What is beauty? What constitutes happiness?

I want to make a difference in someone's life. I want to die knowing that I wore my body out serving God. The weight is a distraction that keeps me from giving all of myself to Him. That's all. It doesn't make me pretty in His eyes and that's really all that matters. Giving Him all of myself also means dying to the wrong ways of dealing with this world and its cares.

I don't think I've seen anyone more beautiful that Sister Therese or Rosa Parks. I'm heading into a part of my life where beauty can no longer be defined by a great butt and boobs. It's something deeper and more refining. I'm looking for that.

I want to hear God's voice in this. I exercised, I completed a triathalon (ugly as it was), learned to swim, on and on and on. I write this because I'm searching for His will for me.

I'm looking for balance and right thinking. I'm not there yet. I have real concerns that I will trade imbalance with eating to obsessive thinking about what I'm eating. Both are about eating and both are wrong.

If you see me in a casket looking like Barbie you should cry and weep. If you see a woman who lived her life to its fullest in service to others and God then I would say it was a life well lived. How does health and weight figure into this?

I'll get back with you as I continue on the journey.

Love Dawna

Back to WW

Hello Friends

Tonight I went to WW after a two month hiatus. It was great to be recognized right away and all of the good wishes coming my way. The meeting was really nice as she challenged us to do a Victory Journal to overcome the negative thoughts that come into our minds when we do make bad decisions. I'm going to work on this all week. I've had such a long experience with guilt, shame and negative reinforcement all around me that this time I want to change those thoughts. Anyone else out there struggling with this?

I'm still at the 50lb. loss mark which I'm thankful for considering I've had almost six weeks of no movement. Today I had my five week appointment with one of the surgeons and she thought the incision looked good and when I look I think it also looks better. My hormones are still a concern as I have those deep fears in the back of my head that are legendary in the hysterectomy history books. Weight gain, whiskers, no sex drive and early aging seem to be what the websites post. I can say that I will fight this all of the way.

Let's all keep praying for eachother : ) Go Ladies CHOOSE HEALTH

Hugs
Dawna

Tuesday and three week mark

Hi everyone:
I thought I would make it to WW but no way. I'm going to have to lay low here until I'm stronger. Still tired and working on getting the body back to a state of healing and no pain. I taught at co-op today however feel quite drained. Yesterday I got down on all fours and did a few thigh lifts which felt pretty good. Three more weeks and I should be getting back to myself more and more. It's funny that I'm thinking about how much I want to go and walk at the mall. Ha
I've maintained the weightloss with almost 0 movement and for that I'm quite thankful. Talk with you soon

Hugs
Dawna

Back from Surgery (Kind of)

I'm sure you all want the gory details. Sorry still to gory to show. I'm feeling pretty good and with mom being here to help with recovery it sure has made it easier. I'm really enjoying the slower pace with family and the Lord. I'm certainly getting my appetite back which feels pretty good. I am longing for a lot of healthy cuisine that will assist me in my recovery. Thanks for all of the prayers and good wishes. I'm praying I will get to WW next Monday night.

I'm not exactly sure how much I'm down but I know it's a bit. It's all about habits and creating new and exciting ways to deal with stress and frustration. Food aint it : )

Weighing In After Thanksgiving HAAAAAA

I took off over to WW to see what the damage might be. I was down 1.4 which was quite nice based on last weeks crazy gain. I was responsible however enjoyed the company and the food. I had a nice conversation with family hoping they would join WW as I think it might give them a bit of hope they are looking for right now. I wish I could hug it away but I know it's work we all must do independently. The Lord really brought WW to me and I'm very thankful.

I'm so thankful for my friends who have come alongside me during the ride. I have learned lately that I MUST slow down and stop all activity. The surgery will force me into this lifestyle and I am ready and willing to take the time to heal and spend time with the Lord with no other distractions. I can't believe that surgery will almost seem like a vacation albeit a painful one. UGH

What am I to give my time to? That is my prayer and Lord I'm listening.
God, Husband, Family, Work, Homeschool, Church activities, Social activities on and on and on. My energy is zapped. I look forward to finding it again. Hopefully the surgery will help with that as well.

Thanks for the prayers as I don't have enough typing time to explain it all in too much detail but He knows. Thank you Lord that You know.

Dawna

Big Gain

Okay

3.6 lb. gain and I'm sure I swallowed every bit of it. I don't want to talk about it I just want to begin logging tomorrow and quit being disappointed and turning, as the Lord says, back to my own vomit.

Dawna

Thanks for prayers in advance : )